Wine: Evil or Cheap Fun

I woke up at eight am shocked to hell. I had no idea where I was or how I got there. Eight am..... I'm the lightest sleeper in the world and I can't sleep in new places. I slept til eight this morning though...?

How I got there:

So I'm broke. Like, flat broke. So, I put aside a $20 and decided I was going to buy a big ol' bottle of vodka with it. Turns out Ohio doesn't think you can have responsible fun with liquor after 9 pm so instead I got a huge bottle of Chardonnay. I have $5 left over! This is super! AND I don't have to get like lemonade or orange juice to mix it! GREAT.

I go and pick up Jack Black and his roommate. They were already drunk. They make cracks about the cleanliness of my car as we make our way over to Dirty Bird's. (Jack Black got wasted back in October and destroyed about 2 dozen cookies on my backseat. He hasn't cleaned it, and I don't plan on it.)

We get to Dirty Bird's and Jack is already in cheerleading shorts. Visually offensive. I verbalized my thoughts. They went to go drink with the girls above me who would appreciate his indecency more so than I. I've opened my wine, so I'm good, let them go, I've seen enough.

They get back about 30 minutes later, well, the roommate came back and forwarned me. I couldn't care less. I'm already wayyyyyy down on my wine. I am solidly satisfied with my buzzed state now.

They get back and we discussed options for the night. (The plan was for me to ambush Dirty and Jack with our friend Skipper at a nearby bar. Turns out girls can't be friends with guys without sex involved. Who knew?)

We decided (okay, they... I was just drunk by then) that we should head to Little Bar. Super! I love bars!

We get to the bar. One of the guys got me a beer. Like I needed that.

Now this is where it gets blurry. I know there was a girl more drunk than myself at the bar, and I feel good about that now.

I guess we went back to Dirty's. I guess I was wayyyyyyyy to drunk to drive. I know I borrowed a T and sweats from Dirty and passed out. What else happened? Not real sure. I would like to believe that I was incredibly polite and mannerly. My instincts know better.

Dirty woke up when I gasped with horror and told me nothing useful. Thanks, ass. Does he not know the friend code? You're there to laugh about your stupidity the next morning, not to blanket it from you. Like Mrs. Turtle who is amazing about highlighting the best and worst of my nights - like when I puked down the side of her car while she was driving. No blanket statements of "you were fine" from her. This only leads me to believe I was so much of an idiot that it shouldn't be discussed at all.

In conclusion, my wine costed me $14.61 at the Kroger by my apartment. Worth it? Maybe if I were out with Skipper or Mrs. Turtle - the lovely gals that would be happy to let me know how I met the criteria of a fuckin moron. With people that I don't trust with my three-year-old logic? Absolutely not. I really can only hope that I didn't suffer from word vomit or some other drunk girl ailment I don't even want to consider. Hopefully these little incidents would be noteable by Dirty the next day given they happened... :/