Saturday, November 1, 2008

Singles vs. Takens

Some of my friends forget how much fun it is being single and going to couples parties. One of my best friends means well, I know she does, but damn it when she is drunk she just says what pops into her head. She definitely invited me to a couples party tonight and then announced for the single kids that there were actually four of us, so it's not AS BAD as it usually is. (Yeah, on New Year's this past year she was wasted and yelled that I was single and had no one to kiss at midnight. Thanks, Kins. Thanks.)

But yeah, after she announced the population of the singles, she then said we should have a standard color to wear so everyone knows our status when we walk in the door. I totally agree. I think that would only help my pleasant disposition while I listen to all of the cute couples talk about their perfect nights out, their kids, their awesomeness together, and then ask how my love life is going.

Whatever, after the luck I've had, I like being single. Soooo much easier.

This post is strikingly similar to something Bridget Jones would write... I'm going to bed now.

Not My Story, But Sooo Worth It

I quit my full time job to go back to school and I had to train 3 people to take over for me. Yeah. 3 people. I'm bad ass. One of the girls I trained was a complete moron. This is a story she told me while I was attempting to make her pass off as competent:

Smore: "Yeah, so my boyfriend from Pittsburgh travels a lot for work. And it makes him sick, you know, traveling so much... Well, he was like, working with these chemicals, right? And he was so sick, so he was trying to take his medicine and then I didn't talk to him for like a whole day. I was so worried about what was wrong, I mean, a whole day! So then he finally called me back and I guess he didn't really take his medicine, and it made him even sicker."

Me: "Um, what on earth did he take if he thought he was taking his medicine?"

Smore: "Well, it's powdered medicine..."

Me: "...and?"

Smore: "Well... He thinks he might have taken Cheer."

Me: "Cheer. The laundry detergent."

Smore: "Yeah, cause, well Cheer can be powdered you know."

Me: "........ Well, that's just horrible."

WHAT THE FUCK!?! Yeah she met him on E-Harmony.com. OBVIOUSLY the site freakin works, because those two are a match made in heaven.